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25 settembre By your side - Tenth Ave North
这是我最近很喜欢的一首歌。知道神爱我,一直在我们的身边,扶持我们,与我们度过每一天~ 最近每天早晨起来读《圣经》,祷告,受益颇深。虽然还是有很多缺点,很多不讨神和人喜欢的方面,还是很感谢神让我认识他,也让我体会到神说:“我的恩典够你用的.因为我的能力、是在人的软弱上显得完全 - 林后12:9”。感谢神,祈祷自己可以每天心意更新,越来越像主耶稣的样式,活出基督的馨香气息~ Amen! 27 agosto 咖啡随想-神和图像处理很久没有更新,又是一个新的学年开始了。回顾过去的一年,真的感谢神,让我活得这么开心,这么充实,不停地感受到神的爱,也有勇气去付出爱。和周围的一些朋友相比,和自己的过去相比,心中难以形容地感激,感谢神对我生命的改变!感谢神给我的一切,感谢神给我在VUIIS那边有很好的研究项目,让我有很好的指导老师,尤其在我统计最头疼的时候让我认识非常好的统计专家帮助我。感谢神让我今年在VUCSSA工作,感谢学生会每位成员的热心奉献和所有志愿者的帮助,神更让我看到当我觉得我不能的时候,神总是在那里帮助我。感谢神让我有很好的弟兄姐妹,在教会和团契的大家庭中感受爱,在Bridges International的盐湖城短宣中成长。感谢神让我生活上很顺心,摆脱了虫子的困扰,仍然有一个很贴心的室友。感谢神让我的家人都健康平安,父母也终于慢慢对我更放心了。感谢神让我有很多朋友,出门在外朋友已经是我生活中不可缺少的元素,也感谢他们对我一直的容忍。最重要的是感谢神爱我,让我不孤独,有平安喜乐的心,让我知道什么是对什么是错,让我在环境没有变换的情况下,心灵得到满足!有一句话说:环境不需要改变,我们就可以成功。虽然我们没有到新的环境中,我们的心意可以每天更新,我们可以有一个新的生命,这个就是成功。
神的意念高于我们的意念,和朋友讨论图像处理的问题的时候想到神。图像处理的分割方法中有一种叫做水平截集方法,当用高维曲面的零水平截集来表示二维空间曲线,曲线的拓扑结构就可以自由变换,不受二维空间的拓扑结构限制。同样,当我们的眼光集中在周围的很多繁杂的事情不能自拔的时候,我们去寻求神的旨意,用高维的意识去思考问题,很多问题就迎刃而解,很多担心的问题都不那么重要了。况且,神的旨意难道只是高一维,二维的空间吗?他那超越时间,空间的存在意味着永恒,用永恒的尺度来衡量我们做事的优先级别,这个尺度就是黄金标准。图像处理中很多时候需要黄金标准,比如要分割大脑MRI图像中的Corpus Callosum。当我们不知道到底计算机分割是否对错的时候,现在一般的“黄金标准”是医生利用专业解剖知识手动分割的结果,不同的医生结果不同,更好点的是把几个医生分割的结果利用算法结合一下。不过要想知道真正的Corpus Callosum在哪里,黄金标准应该是做实际的人体解剖,是不会变的。我们生活中很多问题需要知道什么是对什么是错,很多时候我们参照大部分人的生活,“大家都这样”,或结合一些亲朋好友的建议,可是真正的标准是哪里,世界的观点每时都在变化,过去不好的事情现在都无所谓,过去好的事情大家也都不会做,将来又是怎样呢,跟从谁的做法是最cool的,是最好的呢?只有神的话不会改变,是黄金标准,在他的话中学习区分对和错,学习不要论断别人,要彼此相爱,因为神先爱我们,神就是爱。
我的仿真还没有做完,程序在跑,一杯Ice Grande Ceramal Macchiato 还真是让我的思绪不能停下来,感谢神,我爱你!刚刚和Ruthie通电话,感谢神,虽然远隔重洋,我们的心仍然那么近,为她祈祷~ 23 luglio 爸爸的博客和网络相册~2008-07-22 | 中国奥运千年前的纪年币1008年,中国正处在宋朝。是北宋宋真宗赵恒(968--1022)执政。这年2月12日赵恒说天降天书嘉奖治国有方。即改年号为:大中祥符。并发行纪年币祥符元宝、祥符通宝。时至大辽契丹是辽圣宗耶律隆续在位年号为统和,发行纪年币统和元宝,1004年宋辽签订澶渊之盟,经济发展,社会稳定。特别是赤峰地区当时归辽管理也安定发展。老百姓现在还把祥符钱作为吉祥物。辽统和元宝则是难求的珍品。 21 luglio Talking about 记一段时光和两个人 好朋友写的, miss her. Quote 记一段时光和两个人 02 luglio My personality - ENFJ其实很久之前就做过这个测试,可能很多人也都做过,现在看看这个ENFJ的确描述的挺像我的个性,大家看看~
http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html 是从这个联接找到的。这个性格测试叫 Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) ,不知道的可以google一下。
The Giver
As an ENFJ, you're primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. ENFJ's main interest in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this. Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. ENFJ's motives are usually unselfish, but ENFJs who have developed less than ideally have been known to use their power over people to manipulate them. ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves and turn to dark thoughts when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others. ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals. Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs. The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves. People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. They are generally bright, full of potential, energetic and fast-paced. They are usually good at anything which captures their interest. ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. They have a tendency to be fussy, especially with their home environments. In the work place, ENFJs do well in positions where they deal with people. They are naturals for the social committee. Their uncanny ability to understand people and say just what needs to be said to make them happy makes them naturals for counseling. They enjoy being the center of attention, and do very well in situations where they can inspire and lead others, such as teaching. ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. Living in the world of people possibilities, they enjoy their plans more than their achievements. They get excited about possibilities for the future, but may become easily bored and restless with the present. ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. Their genuine interest in Humankind and their exceptional intuitive awareness of people makes them able to draw out even the most reserved individuals. ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship. An ENFJ who has not developed their Feeling side may have difficulty making good decisions, and may rely heavily on other people in decision-making processes. If they have not developed their Intuition, they may not be able to see possibilities, and will judge things too quickly based on established value systems or social rules, without really understanding the current situation. An ENFJ who has not found their place in the world is likely to be extremely sensitive to criticism, and to have the tendency to worry excessively and feel guilty. They are also likely to be very manipulative and controling with others. In general, ENFJs are charming, warm, gracious, creative and diverse individuals with richly developed insights into what makes other people tick. This special ability to see growth potential in others combined with a genuine drive to help people makes the ENFJ a truly valued individual. As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others. 07 febbraio 大家过年好!
2008年的春节了,想在我的space上给大家拜年了,希望我的朋友家人都能在新年里快乐,幸福,也能有神的保守,平安和健康!大年三十早晨10点挣扎着起床给家里打电话拜年,我知道一家人除了我,都和爷爷奶奶、叔叔、姑姑们一起守岁过年,也在等我的电话。大家很开心地聚在一起,每年一起包饺子,十二点的时候才吃,真是很幸福啊!又给舅舅、姨、姐姐、姨奶奶等拜年,已经快中午了,强烈地感受到过年的气氛,连在去学校的公车上,都和司机大妈聊了半天中国的新年~虽然远隔太平洋,在基督里都兄弟姐妹的爱,有神的爱在我周围让我不寂寞,不独孤!
晚上到好朋友家包饺子,十几个朋友一起动手,好高兴!饺子馅有:白菜猪肉,猪肉芹菜,牛肉萝卜,还有最好吃的韭菜鸡蛋鲜虾香菇的“四鲜馅”。我一直在网上查做饺子馅,还得了启发,将胡萝卜汁和面做红色的饺子皮,呵呵~ 男士们还真不错,和面,擀皮样样精通,安兄的饺子皮真是很圆很圆,佩服佩服!大家吃得很高兴,有的朋友都停不下来了,一直在做饺子,很enjoy。。。 打算周五的时候带到团契吧,让大家都尝尝我们做的饺子!后来“杀人”游戏一直到晚上一点半,就算是真的守岁过了年,听说“年”是一种动物~
今天到实验室很晚了,差点误了和老板的meet,不过老板居然很开心地问我新年好,也没有为难我的工作,真是感谢耶稣的保守啊!工作还是要做的,一会游泳完就再工作一会。吃晚饭的时候终于看到了春节联欢晚会,好亲切,让我越看越想家,不是想“家”的那种想家,虽然我也很想爸妈,这次是真的感受到做为一个中国人的亲切,对祖国的思念。。。是真的!看到晚会中大家对奥运的期望很感动,还真的很激动这种百年的奥运要在北京举办了! 也看到晚会上的航天事业的发展,当我看到国旗班的士兵将五星红旗交到宇航员杨利伟手里的时候,我的心也跟着一起激动,其实我也是很喜欢遥感和航天的,怎么说也做了3年多的雷达研究。虽然现在信了基督教以后,听主持人说2008年要实现第一次在太空行走没有那么激动了,因为觉得神创作了这个超过我思维的宇宙,人竟然才能只走出地球,神真是太伟大了!“人算什么,你竟眷顾他!”
一直也在为中国的雪灾地区祷告,但真的是在春节晚会的时候看到很多现场的录像,听过很多人朗诵雪灾地区的情况的时候,眼泪就忍不住流下来,一边看一边哭,感觉自己的心都已经飞回国内!虽然我们这里前天也有很严重的暴风,50多人死亡,但是感谢主我还好好在这里吃东西,喝咖啡。为什么神会这样对待中国?为什么这样严重的灾难在过年的时候袭击中国?我不是很能理解,但是我知道这一切都在神的掌握之中,雪灾,暴风都是神的创造,神的思维难道是我就直接看得懂的吗?我算什么呢?我能控制什么呢?只有恒切地为这些地方的同胞祷告,因为神是听祷告的神,神也爱每个人,也许这样的情况可以更软化中国人刚硬的心,让他们感受到爱,也许是神的惩罚,中国人已经背离神太久太远了。希望大家能通过各种渠道为灾区捐款,也让我意识到神更看重人的灵魂和心,而不是肉体的生或死。
话题不要太沉重,呵呵~不过还是希望每个人都能认识这位伟大创造的神,得到心灵的拯救和全新的生命,一个丰盛的生命,不是为过年而过年,因为世上的东西都是短暂的,我们享受神的恩典是永远的!“我不以福音为耻,这福音本是神的大能。-罗1:16。”
我的比利时老板还问我鼠年好不好,我想都是神的恩典吧,祈祷大家都有个美好的鼠年!
20 dicembre 马槽里的两个婴孩quote:http://www.livingwater4u.com/article/2005/11/272.html 马槽里的两个婴孩在一九九四年十二月,一个寒冷的北国冬天。两个美国青年蒙苏俄教育部邀请,前往学校、监狱、孤儿院、警察局教授品德和伦理课程。这个前共产党国家,竟然渴慕知道多一些基督教道理,向往一个靠信仰美化人品的社会。 这两个青年最后来到孤儿院。一百多被遗弃、被虐待的孩童,坐在小凳子上,专心聆听他们口述伯利恒的故事:约瑟和玛利亚,因为旅店客满,只好住宿马棚,在那里,生下了人类的救主耶稣。 小朋友们分到了三张硬纸板和一小张黄色餐巾纸,开始他们的手工劳作。有的小朋友将餐巾纸小心地撕下,当作稻草铺在马槽里。有的将硬纸板剪成小婴孩的身形,躺在稻草上。他们兴致勃勃地将生平第一次听到的圣诞故事,转化成想象中两千年前伯利恒的实景。 有个六岁的孤儿米隆,在马槽里放了两个婴孩。 两个婴孩?这可不是两个美国青年所口述,也不是圣经所记的历史事实,找来了翻译员,这两个青年好奇地探询米隆心中所想象的圣诞。 米隆准确地复述每一个细节,然后加上一段自编的故事:“玛利亚将婴孩耶稣放在马槽。耶稣张开眼睛看到了我,他问我是否有个住处?我说,因为我没有爸爸,也没有妈妈,所以无处可以居留。耶稣告诉我,我可以跟他一起住。我说,我不能,因为我不象其他人,我没有什么礼物可以献上。” 米隆继续他心中想象的第一个圣诞夜:“因为我渴望跟耶稣在一起,我想到了一个好主意:如果我躺在耶稣身边,可以令他温暖,那算不算是个好礼物?耶稣回答说,那是最好的礼物。所以我就躺在耶稣身边。耶稣望着我说,我可以永远与你同住。” 当米隆讲到这里,眼泪开始流满双颊,将头埋进双手里,靠在孤儿院的桌上,双肩因哭泣而抖动。这个六岁的孤儿找到了一个最好的朋友,一个永不会离开他的好朋友——那位永远与他同在的耶稣。 19 dicembre Talking about 一岁基督徒-感恩
Quote 一岁基督徒-感恩 一岁基督徒-感恩感恩节过去也有一段时间了,教会里征文感恩见证,我也一直没有时间写,也觉得不知道怎么写,但是对神的感恩的一直没有停止过。话说去年十月底在我好朋友Ruthie 的带领下决志信主,今年四月份在纳城华人浸信会受洗归入基督教,我也一步一步在神的带领下尝到主恩的滋味。感恩的话不知从何说起,“感谢中央电视台,感谢CCTV,感谢我的fans对我的支持,没有你们我不可能走到今天。。。。”, 开玩笑啦,不过真的想写写我对神的感谢。
1。第一就是感谢神可以眷顾我,让我有机会认识神,听到福音,从此改变我的人生,改变以前放荡不羁的生活态度。感谢耶稣两千多年前为我的罪钉死十字架,赦免我这个活在罪中的人,让我在神的爱中成为神的宝贝女儿,从此为神的荣耀活。虽然认识神的过程很漫长,充满抵触、怀疑、沮丧,甚至绝望,我感谢神不放弃我,是公义的神,耐心的神,慈爱的神,活生生在那里爱我,帮助我。 2。 为我的工作感谢神。以前虽然也很努力,但是很多时候没有动力,不知道自己的目标在哪里。经常上午不出现在实验室,总是想混过一次又一次和老板汇报工作,有一次还被警告再这样只能做助教。为了用我的工作荣耀神,向神祷告给我智慧和工作的热情,我的研究进展慢慢好起来,写了两个会议论文,正在努力写一个期刊文章,希望很快可以写完。 3。 为我的生活和朋友感谢神。以前觉得一个人的生活会很可怜,很辛苦,不敢也不想过单身的生活。但是,感谢神我真得很开心,另一种不同的快乐,周围有好多好朋友,可以谈心,party。我想神不让我去那个暑假的实习,这应该就是目的吧~ 认识了好多朋友,我也喜欢帮助他们让他们感受神的爱,不求回报的爱。最近,生日聚会和各种节日的聚餐多得不得了,除了大吃大喝之外,常常纪念是神的爱挽救了我这个罪人,也是神的爱给我这么多朋友让我去珍惜。希望我的好朋友也能更多亲近神,认识独一的真神。 4。 为我的家人感谢神,老爸老妈身体都很好,心情也很好。真的是生命很脆弱,但是总是感受到神的保守,希望他们一直都健康快乐! 感谢神给我这么好的父母给我,在我最需要帮助的时候总是在那里。信主之前,很多事情也不和他们沟通,虽然自己很苦恼,辛苦,仍然不想和他们讲,但是发现信主后和他们分享我更多的人生经历的时候,突然发现我们的心比以前还亲近,虽然远隔千山万水。从16岁离家读书一直是“我要,我要”,还是感谢神第一次让我知道如何关心他们,为他们考虑。
其实还有好多,感谢神给我一个很好的室友,让我来到Vandy认识好多朋友,让我加入到我的教会和团契开始丰盛的生活,让我有一颗平和喜悦的心,让我耐心去爱别人正如他爱我一样。感谢神在我哭泣的时候让我感受到他紧紧的拥抱,在我的犯错误的时候提醒我让我慢慢回到他的道路中,在我孤独的时候做我最知心的朋友,在我痛苦中安慰我,用生命的一切经历塑造我的性格越来越像主耶稣,让我每天行走在他的无穷无尽的爱中,让我开始学习体会这个美好的生命和世界,走出心灵的阴霾,活出生命的色彩~~
04 novembre Facebook, my new hobby~Hey, guys, I just want to invite you to join Facebook if you haven't joined yet~~
It's so fun and keep freinds closer! Go to www.facebook.com and apply with your email, it's easy and quick. Then add me as your friend,my name there is: Natalie Zhaoying Han. I really find out that friends are SOOO important to me~~ :-) 一岁基督徒-2很高兴还有朋友让我连载,实在是觉得自己不会写东西,从小语文就特别差。今天一个朋友开玩笑说“鹊巢鸠占”,我居然以为是讲“雀巢”咖啡,看来真的是咖啡喝得太多了。觉得现在的心态和以前不太一样了,以前很骄傲,现在开始学习真正的谦虚,因为“神的愚拙总比人智慧”。以前总是一直在朋友和亲人的表扬中成长,一直的自我优越感使我很多时候不能接受一点反面的意见。不过感谢神,在我的生活中有一些朋友可以直言相劝,基督徒和非基督徒都有。基督徒的朋友说我“不会理财,不会收拾房间”等等,我还勉强可以接受,觉得“良药苦口”,毕竟是对我好。可是当其他朋友和我讲“你的蛋糕太甜了”的时候,我就会心里很不平衡,其实我觉得是我自己太骄傲了,总是觉得大家都应该觉得我的蛋糕好吃。:)我觉得还是今年二月份第一次到我们教会的时候,听谢伟光牧师讲道说“神总会安排一些你不喜欢的人在你身边让你学习如何去喜欢别人,也会安排一些直言的朋友让你锻炼你的性格变得越来越像耶稣”。总是要成长的,现在真的比以前的混乱生活好多,至少可以有理由收拾一下房间的乱衣服。。。 现在我也开始学习爱周围的朋友,像耶稣爱我们一样。何牧师讲爱的三个层次:第一是“彼此相爱”,就是你爱我,我也爱你,第二是“爱人如己”,就是爱别人如同爱自己,第三个是“舍己爱人”,就是牺牲自己去爱别人。前两个都是有条件的爱,后面是无条件的爱。我觉得爱到为人死很难,耶稣爱到为我们钉死在十字架完成对我们罪的救赎,但是至少我可以试试爱人如己,也很难。做为基督徒,最好的礼物是传讲福音,爱别人最好的方式是介绍福音给他/她经历神的恩典。我是一个很aggressive的人,做事情喜欢一下做到底,就像学习要熬通宵才过瘾一样。其实我还是很骄傲,觉得自己可以做很多事情,比如立刻改变别人。其实,每个人真正认识神,感受神的召唤和爱都是圣灵亲自的工作,我只是一个“普通的器皿”。有天晚上委屈地哭着抱怨,结果被教育说“无条件的爱是不需要回报的”。以前总是会期待别人某种方式的回报,否则就觉得这个人不“知恩图报”。实际上,我是不应该期待回报的,而且我也不应该评论别人。因为圣经讲“你在什么事上论断人,就在什么事上定自己的罪”,神会公义审判每个人,我不应该自己论断别人。说起来容易做起来难啊,呵呵。读圣经是让我学到很多东西,不过生活中的事情让我亲身体会到神的恩典和神的管教也很好。总觉得周围朋友不是很理解我,也许这也是个沟通的方式吧~ 晚安,待续
31 ottobre 一周岁的基督徒
时间飞快,转眼间我已经做了一年的基督徒了!这一年的变化还真是很大,感觉好多情景像过电影一样在脑海中浮现。还清晰记得去年的今天晚上在Starbucks的门口,和Ruthie坐在她的车里,我感到我自己的破碎和一种对新生命的渴望,我需要主耶稣来做我的救主,用他的宝学洗净我以前的罪,承认自己是个罪人。我不知道怎么祷告,也不知道用英文好还是中文好,我很激动得做了这个决定,感觉身心都轻松了很多。我打电话给我前男友和家人,我想让他们知道我做了一个改变我一生的决定! 其实,我信主的过程还是很缓慢的,但是神从来都很耐心,等了足足25年我才接受他的爱,才认识神!刚来美国的时候,应美国的基督徒朋友邀请去过几次美国教会,只是感觉很新鲜,时间长了,学习很忙,耽搁了一年多也没有时间和心情去关心这方面的追求。2006年的秋季开学,一位老朋友David打电话过来关心我问有没有需要帮忙的,我说感觉自己英语口语需要提高,要不介绍个美国朋友认识吧。在Starbucks第一次遇见Ruthie,是典型的美国南方女孩,亚特兰大人,很大方很漂亮,性格和我很像,半夜喝咖啡啊,和朋友出去玩啊。她在学中文,我想练英文,还真的有点一拍即合。我们的手机是一样的,临走的时候她“偷”了我的手机,我问她要不要一起吃晚饭,她说她有个”Bible Study” 在她公寓。我从来没有参加过“Bible Study”,就满感兴趣得问了时间和地址。回到办公室,找不到电话,才想起来,看来只能去Ruthie 家才能问问她有没有我的手机了。这就是第一次半推半就得跑到她宿舍参加Bible study。不过,我还真得就很喜欢了她宿舍的这种讨论,在很舒服的沙发上随意的坐,有cookie和蛋糕,看了一段短的影片,谈论自己一周的High 和Low,有问题就可以直接提问,和一群这么年轻漂亮的美国女孩一起讨论,我还是很喜欢的,呵呵。虽然开始她们讲话我听不懂,什么姐妹会活动啊也听不懂,但是Ruthie和大家对我这么中国的博士生也挺好的,就一直坚持了一年,受益菲浅。后来英语进步了一些,可以听懂大部分的讲话了,我也敢和她们更多讨论了。大概参加Bible Study 一个多月后,我慢慢了解了基督教的基本内容,和Ruthie也天南海北的聊我的过去,我内心中深层的价值观和一些感情的伤疤收到挑战。 。。。。。。 信主后的事情也很多,戏剧性的事情层出不穷,改天再写吧,睡觉了,晚安!感谢主!
24 ottobre 沙滩上的脚印一首很感人的诗,很喜欢。
一天晚上我梦见我和上帝在沙滩上散步,
人生中很多的情节慢慢地在天空浮现, 每一个影情节有脚印印在沙上, 有时候是两对, 有时候却只有一对。 这个很让我困扰因为我发现那些我人生中的低潮, 在我在痛苦边缘徘徊, 挣扎,和无能为力的时候, 我只看到一对脚印, 因此我对上帝说, “上帝你曾经答应过我, 如果我跟随你, 你将会陪着我走每一步。 不过,当我在错乱中寻找的阶段, 我只看到一对脚印印在沙上。 为什么,当我最需要你的时候,你却没有在我的身旁?” 上帝回答道: “那些你只能够看到一对脚印的日子, 我的孩子,那些就是我在背着你的日子。” One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “ The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.” --Mary Stevenson-- 在我们的生命中,很多时候我们很脆弱,很孤独,可是上帝一直在我们身边,爱我们,安慰我们,给我们力量。。。。。。 17 luglio 可怕的虫子问题最近我家的虫子问题成了我周围朋友的谈论热门话题。 我六月初搬到离学校很近的一个Duplex住,和pengpeng开始我们的美好生活。
可是没有想到等我6月中旬到西雅图的时候,突然我的腰部和腿部长了很多红色的小包,很痒。我以为是在西雅图的美国老太太家住的问题,就去买了1% 的止痒药膏,觉得好了一些,就用了不到一周。然后回到家,一个晚上洗完澡后和pengpeng闲聊,不过我们发现我们都是一边挠一边聊,原来我们都被同样的虫子咬了同样的位置,大腿的根部和腰部,还有一些零星地分布在大腿关节的后面。我们开始都不好意思告诉对方,以为是自己的问题,不过讨论完觉得应该是房间的虫子做的坏事。新家搬过来,好多朋友都来玩,我和pengpeng开始陆续请客。第一次大型聚餐是pengpeng回国之前6月底,吃完饭过几天先后听说好多来吃饭的都被咬了。听了朋友的建议,于是第一期的除虫运动开始:买了3个喷雾去虫炸弹,关门关窗闷了两个多小时。逛mall回来后,开始全房间的通风和彻底清洁。把客厅,厨房,卧室都洗尘,一切床上的东西和沙发的套子,包括可怜的我们的毛绒玩具都洗了,高温甩干。还有清洁沙发的喷剂,以及专门的flee雷达喷剂(我们以为是flee,不过后来不是)。一直到晚上3点多,终于可以安心的睡觉了。
pengpeng 7月4号回国了,正好是美国的国庆节,有传统的烟花show。我家的地理位置还不错,后门出去就是love hill,晚上上去山顶可以俯瞰Nashville的downtown夜景,绝好的地方观看烟花表演。于是想约几个好朋友来吃饭,然后一起看烟花,没想到师母也听说我家可以看烟花,索性问我可不可以把教会每周三晚上的祷告会开在我家,我当然很高兴啊。虽然很担心大家会被咬,但是想我们刚彻底地清洁除虫,应该没有问题的。教会朋友很豪爽,带了好多饭菜,还让我也叫学生会的朋友一起来,准备认识一下以后合作。结果国庆节我家hold了20 多位朋友,吃饭聊天看烟花。周五开始听说一半来的朋友都被咬了,身上有红色的小包,很痒。一个阿姨家的小狗还被误会,无情地被洗来洗去。哦~~ 好内疚,原来我家的虫子还好顽固。。。。。。
没办法,给房东老太太打求救电话,老太太果然办事利索,第二天一早拿了好多专业的除虫东西来。在我的房子周围,包括空调出风口都用专业的喷雾剂大量喷,也在房间各个角落都喷了,据说是除各种虫子的。Cool! 然后老太太义不容辞地进到我家的地下室放了一颗强度喷雾炸弹,好感动。还给了我另外一个喷雾炸弹放在客厅,因为我怀疑客厅的家具可能有问题。房东又给了我3个超声波趋虫器,客厅和两个卧室都各放了一个。我继续是狂洗我的被子和床单。因为我的好朋友Ruthie要来这里过一个周末,我得好好整理我的房间一下,洗尘,擦窗子,etc。 终于又觉得安全了,心想虫子们也改被杀或被趋走了吧!
上周,Ruthie来了,以前promise给她开个late 生日party,所以我和新来的小mm一起烤了一个巧克力蛋糕,涂了白色的奶油,还装饰了草莓,写了字。于是,又叫了大约8-9 个好朋友吃蛋糕,聊得挺开心。因为,以前几个同学听说我家的“虫子”问题,大家大部分是站着吃蛋糕和聊天,还是有点怕了我家了。不过这个周末过去了,结果全军覆没,每个人都来给我看他们的虫子包,红色的,分布位置都很类似,腿上,关节后面,和腰部。甚至一个朋友还觉得带回bug回家,导致他的朋友也被咬。大家先后看医生,chigger和mites是这些虫子的名字,小到看不见,很难去除。我涂了一些药膏,还是不可避免有新的出现,我哭。 大家在激烈讨论我家的虫子问题,觉得无地自容,好内疚啊!再给房东老太太打电话,她觉得没有办法了,就不想理我了,最后无奈建议我把所有的床上的东西和沙发上的东西都扔到垃圾堆。我的朋友有的建议我借个显微镜找找chigger,有的建议一把火烧了我的房子和前面的草坪,有的建议我报效医药费,有的建议我搬家,有的居然建议隔离我。。。。。
听一个师姐说,她以前住的房子和我很近,她受了近一年的同样的折磨不得不搬家,她们也是竭尽全力除虫,后来也是和我现在一样没办法。不过也不是每个人都受相同的折磨,每个人的反映会不一样,现在就希望大家赶紧去看医生开药,不要用太热的水洗澡。昨天自己不想回家被咬,在办公室熬夜到很晚,还发现脸上都有一个小包,无奈只能回家和我的虫子们作伴睡觉了。一个被咬的地方对我的药膏居然过敏,好痛,连游泳的时候都觉得很疼。
好可怕啊。。。 今晚还得继续回家和我的虫子们相处。pengpeng 什么时候回来呢?
16 luglio without youI haven't heard this song for a long time. It reminds me a lot of my old history with my first serious boy friend. It was hard for me to study all the time at the library by myself, feeling sad for be alone. And i was listening a lot of times of this song, one of the top 10 sadest songs.
Also, it happens again now. He is just there on line, but I know i couldn't talk to him. This is sad and hard. What differs is now that I believe that God will show me the way, and he wouldn't put me in a position too hard for me to take it. This is a practice of my personality to be patient and mature. There is always a way out of this situation. Just stand still and God will show his way to me.
Here is the lyric:
No I can't forget this evening Or your face as you were leaving But I guess that's just the way The story goes You always smile but in your eyes Your sorrow shows Yes it shows No I can't forget tomorrow When I think of all my sorrow When I had you there But then I let you go And now it's only fair That I should let you know What you should know I can't live If living is without you I can't live I can't give anymore I can't live If living is without you I can't give I can't give anymore Well I can't forget this evening Or your face as you were leaving But I guess that's just the way The story goes You always smile but in your eyes Your sorrow shows Yes it shows I can't live If living is without you I can't live I can't give any more I can't live If living is without you I can't give I can't give anymore 19 marzo Get to know yourself betterGet to know yourself betterYour view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.The seriousness of your love: You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.07 marzo Be brave or not?Actually, I don't feel very good these days, feel depressed a lot. But I'm not a person like to think too much into sth bad, I always want to find some excuse to cheer myself up, like going out with friends, having coffee, delicious dinner. Or, I will just sleep to escape from reality, from this wonderful world I have been dreaming of for so long. I can sleep more than 14hours per day, and it's hard for me to get up. This is not a good habit, and I know it.
Sometimes, I say to myself: "Be strong, natalie, you should not escape from the world, you must be bravy to face it". I wrote to myself before when I was really a coward when I seperated with the first long-term boyfriend, I felt that I have no courage to do anything. So, I forced myself to do this and do that by myself. Then finally I did that, then I thought maybe I have been stronger than before, but maybe i was wrong.
To solve all the problems in life is not an easy thing, and especially some unexpected things. But, as one friend said, if sth bad is going to happen, then it's much better to happen earlier, as soon as possible.
Vandy's 午后和Starbucks上周五参加完Seminar就是一周的春假了,看到校园也真的有了春天的气息,天气很好!
Miao过来找我逛Mall,我想喝咖啡,这已经是我生命中不能缺少的元素了,还约上了丁丁,她也喜欢星巴克的咖啡。Miao很喜欢照相,我是那种照相不会笑的,很少有满意的照片,呵呵。。。
看我们在校园和过马路就能到的星巴克的照片,三个人在一起总是很开心!说说笑笑,摆摆淑女样子,也只能摆摆的,我估计~
想起以前国内的时候也朋友去星巴克,但不经常,最喜欢的还是五道口那里Subway上面的咖啡店,但是可惜名字总是记不住。这里21街的星巴克就在附近,经常都会过来和朋友聊天,壁炉旁边的座位可不是总能强得到的,嘿嘿!
春假过的,也没有什么trip,就是睡了很多觉,还是要看paper,参加meeting,作Project的。觉得在这里过了大半年,环境都开始习惯了,也认得了去buffet和Korean House的路了,也可以挑下去那里喝咖啡了。刚来的时候还因为没有找到可以喝咖啡的地方和没有陪喝咖啡哭,现在Fido, Costos,Starbucks,Penara,最差还有麦当劳的咖啡,还有Vender的Cinnamon Mocha.吃饭也习惯了,吃了好多快餐,还有各种buffet, 挖掘出了我很喜欢的鳗鱼寿司,呵呵,厨艺也还算有长进吧~~
01 marzo 重温安徒生童话看到可爱"'金龟子",想起了安徒生童话中的拇指姑娘,摘自
。。。。。。
拇指姑娘的摇篮是一个光得发亮的漂亮胡桃壳,她的垫子是蓝色紫罗兰的花瓣,她的被子是玫瑰的花瓣。这就是她晚上睡觉的地方。但是白天她在桌子上玩耍——在这桌子上,那个女人放了一个盘子,上面又放了一圈花儿,花的枝干浸在水里。水上浮着一起很大的郁金香花瓣。拇指姑娘可以坐在这花瓣上,用两根白马尾作桨,从盘子这一边划到那一边。这样儿真是美丽啦!她还能唱歌,而且唱得那么温柔和甜蜜,从前没有任何人听到过。
一天晚上,当她正在她漂亮的床上睡觉的时候,一个难看的癞蛤蟆从窗子外面跳进来了,因为窗子上有一块玻璃已经破了。这癞蛤蟆又丑又大,而且是粘糊糊的。她一直跳到桌子上。拇指姑娘正睡在桌子上鲜红的玫瑰花瓣下面。 “这姑娘倒可以做我儿子的漂亮妻子哩,”癞蛤蟆说。于是她一把抓住拇指姑娘正睡着的那个胡桃壳,背着它跳出了窗子,一直跳到花园里去。 花园里有一条很宽的小溪在流着。但是它的两岸又低又潮湿。癞蛤蟆和她的儿子就住在这儿。哎呀!他跟他的妈妈简直是一个模子铸出来的,也长得奇丑不堪。“阁阁!阁阁!呱!呱!呱!”当他看到胡桃壳里的这位美丽小姑娘时,他只能讲出这样的话来。
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这时有一只很大的金龟子飞来了。他看到了她。他立刻用他的爪子抓住她纤细的腰,带着她一起飞到树上去了。但是那片绿叶继续顺着溪流游去,那只蝴蝶也跟着在一起游,因为他是系在叶子上的,没有办法飞开。 天啦!当金龟子带着她飞进树林里去的时候,可怜的拇指姑娘该是多么害怕啊!不过她更为那只美丽的白蝴蝶难过。她已经把他紧紧地系在那*?叶子上,如果他没有办法摆脱的话,就一定会饿死的。但是金龟子一点也不理会这情况,他和她一块儿坐在树上最大的一张绿叶子上,把花里的蜜糖拿出来给她吃,同时说她是多么漂亮,虽然她一点也不像金龟子。不多久,住在树林里的那些金龟子全都来拜访了。他们打量着拇指姑娘。金龟子小姐们耸了耸触须,说:
“嗨,她不过只有两条腿罢了!这是怪难看的。” “她连触须都没有!”她们说。 “她的腰太细了——呸!她完全像一个人——她是多么丑啊!”所有的女金龟子们齐声说。 然而拇指姑娘确是非常美丽的。甚至劫持她的那只金龟子也不免要这样想。不过当大家 都说她是很难看的时候,他最后也只好相信这话了,他也不愿意要她了!她现在可以随便到 什么地方去。他们带着她从树上一起飞下来,把她放在一朵雏菊上面。她在那上面哭得怪伤 心的,因为她长得那么丑,连金龟子也不要她了。可是她仍然是人们所想象不到的一个最美 丽的人儿,那么娇嫩,那么明朗,像一起最纯洁的玫瑰花瓣。 。。。
最后他们来到了温暖的国度。那儿的太阳比在我们这里照得光耀多了,天似乎也是加倍地高。田沟里,篱笆上,都生满了最美丽的绿葡萄和蓝葡萄。树林里处处悬挂着柠檬和橙子。空气里飘着桃金娘和麝香的香气;许多非常可爱的小孩子在路上跑来跑去,跟一些颜色鲜艳的大蝴蝶儿一块儿嬉戏。可是燕子越飞越远,而风景也越来越美丽。在一个碧蓝色的湖旁有一丛最可爱的绿树,它们里面有一幢白得放亮的、大理石砌成的、古代的宫殿。葡萄藤围着许多高大的圆柱丛生着。
燕子带着拇指姑娘飞下来,把她放在它的一起宽阔的花瓣上面。这个小姑娘感到多么惊奇啊!在那朵花的中央坐着一个小小的男子!——他是那么白皙和透明,好像是玻璃做成的。他头上戴着一顶最华丽的金制王冠,他肩上生着一双发亮的翅膀,而他本身并不比拇指姑娘高大。他就是花中的安琪儿。
当他看到拇指姑娘的时候,他马上就变得高兴起来:她是他一生中所看到的一位最美丽的姑娘。因此他从头上取下金王冠,把它戴到她的头上。最好的礼物是从一只大白蝇身上取下的一对翅膀。他们把这对翅膀安到拇指姑娘的背上,这么着,她现在就可以在花朵之间飞来飞去了。这时大家都欢乐起来。
The End.
怀念我的童年 -- 那外婆家的童话世界!
07 febbraio 开始我的blog--丁丁记here is my friend, dingding. : ) She is my best friend here, we are in the same lab, this picture was taken in San. Louis during Chritmas holiday of 2005. |
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